My Therapy Journey

A mentor pulled me aside after a meeting and asked, “What’s going on? You’re not okay.” My initial instinct was to say, “Rude. I’m fine.” But truth be told, I was far from fine and this was the only human that was tuned in enough to recognize and address it.

That moment changed my life. Because we can’t start to heal if we don’t pause long enough to acknowledge that we are not okay. This human did that for me. And that started my personal therapy journey.

After this conversation and the number of tears that were released, I could not ignore the need to address my burnout and debilitating anxiety. You couldn’t tell from the outside, but the inside of my mouth was filled with cancer sores and my hair was falling out. If you didn’t know, when you ignore emotions, your body starts shouting at you!

Addressing Anxiety and Burnout

I finally decided to prioritize mental health for myself. Put it on the calendar. Paid the rate. Took the anxiety medication. Got honest with myself. And believe it or not? I started to feel relief. But I also realized I needed to end my marriage-ha! Not an easy pill to swallow.  

Addressing my anxiety around my full schedule and workload allowed me to get to a new layer of work to be done.

Divorce and Grief Counseling

Enter the divorce chapter. I went to a different therapist to process my divorce. There were also marriage therapists mixed in there leading to the ultimate decision. But this was a chapter where I just needed to provide myself with an hour a week to address the grief and then carry on with life.

This was a season of acceptance and adjusting to change after ending a 7-year relationship. My therapist was kind, reflective, person-centered, emotionally validating and just what I needed.

EMDR, Time to get to the Root

During this time, I was finishing graduate school studying counseling and kept hearing about this woo-woo therapy called EMDR. I went to the trainings and had a front row seat to watching people experience healing with this approach. I wanted in on this!

So, I started working with an EMDR therapist to address a childhood growing up in purity culture, my consistent negative beliefs about myself and painful experiences in my marriage. From personal experience, EMDR works and in a different way than talk therapy!

Career Clarity

Now that my anxiety was being managed, my divorce was final and EMDR helped my past feel resolved, I was ready to focus on my future. What did I want for myself? This is a season where I starting gaining clarity on the lifestyle I wanted and a career path that was fulfilling and allowed me to be flexible and independent. Thus, Aligned Counseling and Consulting was born and is blooming.

Couples Counseling

What’s a journey without a love story? In what felt like perfect timing, I met my now-husband on a dating app. Dating as a 30-year-old woman who knew her core values and what she was looking for was much more fun than dating as a 19-year-old.

In the first few months of dating, he asked me if I’d start couples counseling with him. Not because we were struggling, but because he wanted it to be a normal part of our relationship, preventative and an ongoing resource. (Hiiiii. That’s sexy to me!) And so, we did. We found a couple’s counselor we love and have on speed dial for when we need some extra tools or someone to add perspective in a conversation.

I share all of this for several reasons.

1.     It’s okay to not be okay.

2.     You need to pause long enough to address what’s going on inside.

3.     Different seasons bring different needs.

4.     Having a therapist that specializes in what you are looking for is important & it’s okay to mix it up.

5.     Sometimes the therapeutic work will lead to harder work before it leads to long term relief, but it’s worth it.

What chapter are you in your journey? What needs to be addressed in this season? Are you ready to pause and dig in?

That moment when someone pulled me aside and validated that I wasn’t okay was incredibly healing for me. I felt seen. I felt worthy of someone’s time and energy. If I, or someone on our team, can provide that space for you, we would be grateful to do so. You are worth it.